The basic design of the Goodies Trandem has remained unchanged since its invention. There seems no point in wasting time trying to improve it. Some people would call it a unique disaster; but it has a charm all of its own. There are those who swear by it, and on it or about it. So let's find out more...

The Trandem is perhaps the Goodies' most remarkable achievement of the field of transport. It is in fact their only achievement in the field of transport; except of course for their feet - which are nothing to write home about. Our testers - at present recovering in Cricklewood infirmary - write home about it nearly every day. Their descriptions range from '****ing amazing!' to

'that God-forsaken old junk heap'. The truth probably lies somewhere between the two, but one thing is certain - the trandem is unique. Quite simply, it has no serious competitors (although there are a few very silly ones). Both it's nearest rivals - the German Volksdreical and the Japanese Triniped - have recently been made illegal, which leaves the International Market wide open for the

Goodies Trandem to make a serious killing - or at least cause serious injury. Unfortunately, distribution and supply leaves quite a lot to be desired. There is at present only one trandem in existance, and although there is another one under consideration there is bound to be a waiting period of between twelve years and eternity. What is more, the Goodies are

only accepting a limited number of orders - namely, one. Prospectice buyers should not be put off, however, as so far nobody has shown any interest whatsoever.

Performance
One of the chief boasts of the makers is that the Trandem uses very little petrol; we found this claim utterly justified, except when we crashed into a service station and knocked over two pumps The riders are normally driven by alchohol. They are, we discovered, quickly driven to alchohol. It was usually necessary to consume quite an intake before building up sufficient nerve to try and ride the Trandem. Make no mistake, this is a very powerful vehicle. The makers claim a top speed of over twenty